A Private Message To My Cyberstalker

Unless you are my stalker, this message isn’t for you.  It’s only for my cyberstalker.

Dear sir, while you were busy attacking me over this, you seem to have missed this, which actually preceded your stalking.

I know, whoopsie, huh?

Now, if there’s nothing else, then may I encourage you to spend your time more productively, maybe get ready for Halloween?

Watch the magic jack o'lantern!

You know, I’ve never been cyberstalked before.  It’s kind of sweet and flattering, actually, and so, in that spirit, let me leave you with this ode to peace and gentility:

Awwwwww.

Seriously, though, dude?  I originally posted your email address to embarrass you but then decided that I just didn’t want to be that mean, even though you’re really being a jerk to me in your comments.  You know that you aren’t anonymous, right?  You aren’t.  I get your IP address and your email address.

Now, nobody’s actually reading this, so it probably doesn’t really make a difference, but come on.  Life’s too short to stalk strangers on the Internet, isn’t it?  You know it is, so give it a rest.  Or don’t.  I don’t really care, but understand: the attention is more flattering than you think it is, and if you keep it up, I will post your email address for my entire readership of, well, you, to see.